Here are the top five ways men murder their conversations with women before they ever even have a chance to create attraction.
Let’s face it…
If you want to create attraction in a woman… you must possess the ability to talk.
You can know all the “secret attraction building techniques” in the world… but if you can’t carry a conversation… YOU GET NO WHERE….
Mistake #1: Breaking the 90/10 Rule When Starting a Conversation
Have you ever noticed that most conversations don’t pick up steam until about 5-10 minutes in?
This is because when you start talking to someone new, especially
somebody you do not know yet, they are going to be just as cold inside
their heads as you were before you psyche yourself up – making yourself
ready to start that conversation.
A conversation needs time to build “conversation momentum.”
The problem most guys face is that don’t ever give their conversations a chance to build that “momentum.”
Most guys expect to hit this “conversation flow” too quickly. And
because of this the opposite effect happens… and their conversations
just “stall out.”
Well you have to carry the conversation. Be prepared, in the first
five or so minutes, to carry the conversation by providing 90, or even
sometimes 100, percent of all the content until they get warmed up a
little bit.
How do you do that?
Keep talking!
Well the rule is very simple: Just keep talking.
By taking control of the conversation right from the beginning, you
allow her time to “warm up” and shift her brain from “receive mode”
rather than “give mode.”
You HAVE be prepared to talk 90% of the time for the first 5-10 minutes of your conversations….
Mistake #2: Not Recognizing the Signals a Woman is Giving Them
You have to recognize the signals that women are giving to you so you
know whether you have got the right kind of emotional intensity – the
right energy – and whether the topics you are talking about are actually
even appropriate for this point in the conversation.
How do you do that?
Well, you use your senses. Your eyes and your ears are your best
friends. You have got to watch people’s reactions and learn to be able
to read them.
You have a good sense of when you are boring her, when she is excited
and how she is reacting to you. You just have to make sure you pay
attention.
The rule of thumb is when you first start a conversation with someone
or with a group of people you want to have a little bit more energy
than that group had before you came in.
If you get to recognize where she is at in terms of her energy level,
her enthusiasm, her excitement, how her neurology is wired up and lit
up, and you can pitch your own energy level to be just slightly above
that, you will be sure to be a success wherever you go because you will
not be too much and you will not be too little.
Mistake #3: Not Assuming Rapport Right From the Beginning
For the longest time I could never understand why it took so long for
me to develop rapport with women… while my friends seem to jump right
into it…
And then it hit me…
I was waiting for rapport to happen naturally… they were assuming it.
When you are talking to a woman, even if it’s your first time talking
to her… talk to her in the same laid back way you would talk to an old
friend.
Most guys do the complete opposite… they talk to a woman in a “stiff,
formal” way reserved for strangers…. And this just makes it more
apparent that you are a STRANGER. And this puts her guard up. And this
creates that uncomfortable “awkwardness” that is devastating to a
conversation.
By jumping right into rapport you create a more natural feeling conversation and give her the feeling of “knowing you forever.”
Mistake #4: Going into “Interview Mode”
I know you’ve experienced it… talking to a woman, and feeling like you’re on a job interview.
This is the dreaded “interview mode.”
This happens when you don’t know what to talk about so to keep the conversation going you ask questions like:
What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
Where did you grow up?
What kind of music do you like?
It’s not the questions themselves that kill you… the rapid firing of
question after question… and the steady stream of fact based answers
that destroy any sort of “chemistry.”
A conversation is supposed to fun vibing back and forth… it’s not supposed to feel like a job interview.
Mistake #5: Letting her “Lead” the Conversation
Most guys are so unsure of themselves when talking to a woman that
they look for the woman to give them “approval” or “permission” before
they take any lead in the conversation.
And this is DEAD wrong.
The minute a woman realizes you’re looking to her to lead the conversation… her attraction instantly disappears.
Most guys let the woman lead the conversation because they are scared of “pissing her off” or choosing the wrong topic…
But here is the thing…
Women will follow whatever tone you set for the conversation. If you set a fun, flirty vibe… she will follow.
And even if she isn’t interested in the topic you’ve chose to
discuss… she’ll still respect you a lot more for taking the initiative.
The Biggest Mistake:
Do you want to know what the biggest mistake men make in regards to their conversations with women?
Not getting help.
Would you believe that 10 years ago it was nearly impossible to find
this sort of information on improving your conversations with women?
This meant that guys were forced to either struggle forever, or figure
it out on their own.
However, you have no excuse… as there is help available. Help that can change your “game” almost overnight. Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy
can help you. It’s jam packed with dozens and dozens of specific
strategies for creating the right mindset for talking to a woman,
getting “in the zone”, making her laugh, creating rapport, keeping a
conversation flowing naturally, overcoming “shit tests”, dealing with
guys who might be overshadowing you, and most importantly, creating
attraction as you talk to her…
This is arguably the most comprehensive “conversation training” you
will ever receive. There is no way you can listen to this program and
not come away with at least a dozen tips that will change the way you
communicate with women …nearly immediately.
>>>Check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy and learn how to instantly generate attraction through the way you talk to women.